The work I've done on my inner self over the last 35 years has culminated for me today in rather a jarring fashion. A slip on the stairs lifted me into the air and plummeted me down again. I lay splayed on my back sucking for air like a starfish stuck to the glass of an aquarium. I'm draped in seven rolls of MY toilet paper that I was retrieving from Marigold Cottage and I'm being pelted by raindrops. Oh, god, but laughing hurts. I'm so grateful for the wonderful condition of my skeletal structure. Bruised and battered but not broken. And, yes, there is a metaphor in that event. One that I'm ready to face. This sudden eruption to a rather uneventful morning took me by the shoulders and shook me violently into recognizing that I've completed a major cycle in my life. A cycle that I need to let go of so that I can begin the new one. The new one is so unknown that I was afraid to let go of the old and jump in. I'm still scared, but I'm ready to take the plunge, so I'm closing down the Solar Heart Play blog as a symbolic gesture.
I will continue to blog on my website http://www.magentaharmony.com/blog.html about my newest travel adventure, The Fool's Journey into an Unknown World. If you wish to follow me there, click the link above, look to the left hand column and subscribe.
I will continue to assist Bagamoyo Young Artist Centre in whatever way I can. Thank you to those who have contributed. I'll be wiring $343 to Bagamoyo next week. The children will eat breakfast for 28.3 days thanks to your contributions. The BYAC donation button will remain active on my site until there is no longer need for it.
Since I'm closing out the old, I need to let you know that my personal gratitude for your support of BYAC goes way beyond helping them. I've never been able to ask for help before - in any way, shape, or form. I always just did it myself, made it work myself because, quite frankly, in most cases I could do it myself. Or if it was too unmanageable, I tucked it away in a hidden compartment that I didn't have to look at often. Another skill - denying things that upset my aesthetic love for all things beautiful. Last week, I swallowed my Leo-nine pride (that's 9x normal pride) and admitted to myself that in this situation I am helpless to support so great a need as hungry children in Africa without help. So I reached out to my family and friends. And I appreciate your contributions from the depths of my soul because I know for sure now that I won't die from asking for help no matter how many times my ego slaps me around.
Same goes for the people who have said they prefer to send a check directly to me rather than use PayPal. Please address the check to:Margie Boehmer
PO Box 1328
Mendocino, CA 95460.
Your contribution will arrive in the Mendocino Post Office where I will walk the two blocks to retrieve it as soon as I can walk that far again. Along the way, I will pass the Penny Farthing Building
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As for the experience of writing the Solar Heart Play blogs, WOW! It has been a Word of Wonder for me (pun intended). I appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts and musings with you. Some of you have been with me from the beginning and some have recently joined. Thank you! Through the blog, I have effectively straddled walking in two worlds for two years without slicing myself in two. Well, I did slice myself up into tiny pieces but only energetically. But in writing the blog I most often edited the real me out and presented the person I thought you wanted to see.That wasn't because of you. That was because I needed you to like me. I'm ready to let go of that now because what I really need is to like myself. TUM-TE-TUM (that was a drum roll) TA DA - I am leaping into the world of presenting myself as I really am so that I can learn who my true self is. I can't love myself if I don't know who I really am and I'm tired of fighting the unconscious me who pretty much believes I'm a screw-up when I know that I'm not!
By the way, the Fool's Journey is Key 0, the first major key of the Tarot. When one set's off on the Fool's journey, one leaps from portal to portal, moving thoroughly through each opening with mental abandon, forever stepping into the dark circle of the unknown while trusting that he/she will be able to deal with whatever comes along. The Fool does not journey alone, even though she appears to be alone. The Fool often appears foolish because of mental abandon that may not fit the status quo but the Fool is not foolish. She is fully supported by the Breath of Life Itself.
This Fool has her loyal Guide within, my Presence who breathes the Breath of Life through me. This Fool now journeys with a sense of self-confidence that was totally lacking in my past journeying. This Fool is confident enough to present a more true, and perhaps, foolish version of Margie to the world. This Fool journeys for the experience of the journey. This fool journeys to see if it's possible to marry the red rose of human desire with the white lily of inner purity, clarity, love, faith, and trust. This Fool doesn't care if she actually achieves this most sacred of unions. This Fool journeys because she has no other choice but to move forward. This Fool also enjoys both writing and sharing her ups and downs, ins and outs, as she journeys through the portals, hence the continued blogging.
And this Fool no longer needs you to like her so she's giving you the opportunity to choose whether or not you wish to read about her antics. This Fool hopes you'll come along for the ride and that you'll provide comments so she doesn't feel like she's having a one-way conversation, but if you decide our season and reason for knowing each other has passed, I bless and thank you for all that you've taught me during our time together. C'est la vie!
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